Another Poem I just made today in iStarboX

As you think harder
It gets more confusing
And when you see farther
It becomes more reassuring

I tend to my wounds
Coz i see these defects
To do what I should
Afraid of its effects

But this I think
it's time to fight back
And show them how I
am strong for a pack

I may be this foolish
To those minds that are greenish
My intensions are clear
Even if i drink beer

No mere obstacle
that can prevent me
Even my fears of becoming
someone who isn't me

But then When I thought
If all here is wrong
Then Why would I waste
More time to be strong

when the fact that shows
That I'm left here alone
To feel the despair
Real life is unfair

I know it is vague
How I described it
Truly it is bare
I just want you to find it

But as you re-read it
I'm sure you will know
Exactly how I see it
Betrayed feelings it showed

Something I wanted back

(This is another poem I made as an expression of what exactly I'm feeling as of this moment.. here goes..)


As I lay my head back
I looked up at the sky
I watched the stars shine
And one drew a line

A falling star indeed
I panicked at my stead
Immediately closed my eyes
And recite the line that rhymed

I wish I wish one mighty twist
Palms on my eyes and shaky wrists
If anything would be given to me
To have what I lost would you agree

Please give back the light, my smile
The cloth I wore that warms my night
Now it's torn so much in pieces
Can't patch it back not with some stitches

My hands are wounded my heart is torn
How can you find a needle in a storm
I almost died trying to find it
Even if danger sounds it is quiet

If my wish will be granted
There's nothing more to be wanted
Just this once in a lifetime
I know my line did rhyme

They say wishes will come true
I guess in books, yes they do
but I'm not done, the sky now clears
nerves tight roght now, anxious in tears

(This is for you guys, please come back to me =( )

BREAKDOWN = COMEBACK

This fucking thing we call "LIFE" is driving me crazy, I may end up trying to kill myself... unintentionally.

So I changed the layout of this blog and removed my old posts. What remained was the important part of my life that I don't ever want to forget.

You see, people do struggle in life because of the standard of living. Hardships to raise a family or himself will cause a person to maximize his energy and result to wrong decisions that will unexpectedly give bad result, thus ruining the life that they've worked hard for in the first place.

I'm in a state of breakdown right now and I want to let it out thru writing. I like what I'm doing right now and it entertains me, but the pain will never fade away.

At this point of my life, I feel like I lost a needle in a sand that I am desperately trying to find using my hands, and instead of being able to pick it up with my fingers, my finger was wounded, and despite of all this, I am still searching for it, I am desperate to have it back. I just wish they could read this because I couldn't possibly get the courage I needed to face them strongly after all that has happened.

It hurts so much. :(

SHAGGYDEEZ is SYNONYMOUS to "MY LIFE"

This is the EMOest part of my life.

I so love my new found friends.

And I know how expressive I am, and I'm happy.

Losing them would really hurt me BIG TIME!!!